Wednesday, March 4, 2015

Chapter 4: Now you see it, now you don't....

After selling my camera, 95% of my photography gear and a whole butt load of junk dug out of the deepest parts of my apartment, I was amazed at just how much I had all together saved up. It was nearing the $2,000 range. I was excited that buying our beds would be happening in a matter of days!! I felt so great and proud of all the hard work and hard choices I made to get to that point over the last few weeks. It was either the exact same day or a day after I calculated all I had saved up when on that particular day, I kept receiving calls from debt consultants, Verizon, our Internet company and a few more all looking for upcoming or past due bills. I called Jason to see if this was a fluke thing and he said no, he didn't know why they were all calling me but alot more bills were due this next week including all of the regular bills. He said he was way stressed since he had no idea where he would get the extra money to pay the bills plus tithing he owed for the last paycheck he got but didn't have time to calculate and pay tithing on.... When he got home he calculated the outstanding bills and to my utter shock it was the EXACT amount TO THE DOLLAR as my saved up money... I tried REALLY hard to deny the coincidence. It only took me 2 days after that to realize it wasn't a coincidence at all. However I did NOT want to recognize the prompting I was feeling to pay those bills and tithing with the money I had earned. It wasn't happening. Nope! Move along, I am finally getting a bed to sleep on, and that was FINAL!!

 I knew better, and I knew that I knew better. It was another "humbling" moment, one I did not think I needed, considering the events of the last few weeks! I didn't want to pray to confirm the prompting. I didn't want the real answer. I prayed anyway but not all "cute" as I should when asking to clear my mind and give me peace. Asking if this was what the money was best used for or not. I was thinking/hoping maybe He will ignore my prayer all together since it was on the bad attitude side of things and who wants to answer one of those!? But, as hard as I tried, a prayer is a prayer and Heavenly Father answers all of them. I immediately felt at peace and knew with a surety that that money was meant for the bills. I felt uplifted knowing that I had peace around it and paid them without a second thought, but it was still a bit hard to swallow. 

That same day, as we paid all the bills in time, plus tithing, with the exact amount with my earned money. I was left with a handful of junk coins to my name.... 

Now, I know exactly what you might be thinking right about now... Either, Option A: "What the #%&$&*@!7& are you kidding me!?!!!?! All that hard work she was inspired to do to earn the money for the beds and now that was all down the drain!?! Abandoning her at ground zero all over again!?! Seriously!?! #%$&@!!! *cold shoulder to Heavenly Father*. 

Or option B: "wow! What a huge blessing to have been inspired to sell all that stuff and make the exact amount to pay off those bills so they could save their credit for potential future financial purposes. Heavenly Father is amazing!!!" 

I would be lying if I didn't say I had both of those feelings cycle through my head when the situation was at hand.... haha Yep, nothing like being transparent here. 

So, there I was, after hours and hours, days and weeks of hard work of cleaning and organizing every last inch of my apartment and selling all the junk I could find, sacrificing my beloved professional photography camera/ equipment and career, saving dollar after dollar and within a day's time it was all whittled down to a small handful of pennies that didn't even add up to .50c. Sadness was one of the many emotions that occasionally came about after looking at my now pathetically empty money jar. But for the most part, I felt truly blessed to have had the right amount of money to pay down all the bills but especially the debt collecting ones. Jason said that if I hadn't made that money then our credit (that was finally coming back up from the brutal beating it took when Christian was in the hospital and we had no insurance, Medicaid or income) would have been shot all over again. I felt uplifted and grateful that Heavenly Father was watching out for us, even that far ahead! We were so relieved. I felt a huge serge of power in my soul after making the hard decision to spend the money on bills. It felt like a huge "Thank You!" from Heavenly Father for following his promptings even though they were brutal and emotionally taxing. I felt amazing after the money was spent. Still some sadness since I was back at ground zero but I tried not thinking about it, only sinking back where I know I didn't want to be. 

It was literally only 2 days later. I get a knock at my door. I open it to find 2 very tall Tongan men standing all jolly saying they have a delivery for a Melissa Miller. They then proceed to bring in a brand new queen size, name brand pillow top mattress, brand new box spring, a brand new metal bed support and brand new sheets. I hadn't ordered any of it and didn't know of their existence until the night before they showed up when my friend had told me to be on the lookout. Someone she knew but who wanted to stay anonymous ordered us a brand new bed. I had only told this one friend of what I was saving up for when she asked if I could take her family pictures this spring and I had to explain my current photography situation and why. She then by total happenstance was in contact with me when I had paid the bills since she asked what was new, and that was currently the newest, pressing on my brain development and I just mentioned it to her.

While the bed was being brought into the apartment I was FLOORED. "How? Why? When? What? Who!? How?!? Really!?!?! Is this a joke? A dream? Wait What!?" My brain was going a mile a minute after the delivery men left. We were literally just given a brand new amazing bed..... I couldn't believe it. Stuff like this doesn't happen. I started crying because I was so thankful. Jason came home and had to take a step back when he first walked in. I mean we had an actual bed to sleep on and not some old rotten stranger stained used mattress. No this was a brand new, still in plastic bed to call our own that appeared out of nowhere with no money to its fund. I think it would shock anyone. Holy smokes!!!! 

We felt SO beyond blessed as we started setting it up. We were just so grateful to the anonymous person who was beyond selfless and bought us a bed and even thought to buy us sheets!! I wished I could hug her for hours! If she only knew what we had been through and just sacrificed and how much I loved her, even though I didn't know her, then I would feel somewhat closer to making it up to her!! 

That night was the BEST nights sleep we had both had in forever!!! I actually fell straight asleep without twisting and turning or waking up in the middle of the night twisting and turning trying to get comfortable. I woke up feeling like I actually got deep restorative sleep. Jason felt energized and rested as well, something he hadn't felt in a long time. Especially with his new crazy demanding work schedule, quality sleep was exactly what he needed most. 

I just knew Heavenly Father had his hand in this... How else could you explain this miracle?? He knew exactly the sacrifices we made and how hard I particularly struggled with making the hard decisions. But once I did, I knew he was proud of me and I full heartily believe that he inspired the anonymous lady, to have the desire to really really help someone in need, ready to pay in full whatever it was they needed. Then He made it possible for my friend to inadvertently know our current situation even though I had not told anyone else. He engineered it so perfectly so that my friend would be talking to her friend who she didn't know had a desire to help someone, and when my friend had mentioned my name and crazy circumstances, that's when it all came around full circle with the anonymous lady at a drop of a hat buy us a brand new bed without blinking an eye and get it delivered the same day. It boggles my mind at how amazingly perfect the Lord works and makes things work. He didn't leave me stranded at ground zero with only .50c, no he did much much more then that for us. He made it possible for me to be fully inspired to sell all I had, to save up enough money for a bed only to turn it around to pay off the threading bills, save our credit and still provide us with a brand new bed. It makes no sense?? but He made it happen! He is beyond amazing. I am speechless. Absolutely speechless.

We have had the bed a solid week and a half now and we get amazing sleep every night. We feel like brand new people! My poor, once achy, pregnant body actually feels alive and well again!! AMAZING!!! I know my Heavenly Father loves me. He loves me so much and will do anything to help us in our times of need, no matter the circumstances. I am beyond blessed to be his daughter. I am still just in complete shock over all this. The best part is, I still have 3 very valuable camera gear items and valuable junk items that, once sold, will most likely provide me enough money for the boys beds AND bed spreads..... My mind is blown. I have no idea how He pulled all that off. Heavenly Father IS perfect. 

He even provided enough money from the junk sale for me to afford the beginning step of my next task...


**And for those of you interested, I did in fact sign Christian up for kindergarten regardless of whatever crazy 6 year commitment I was told about. There is a French program at that school that is hard to get into and I assume they were relaying that the 6 year commitment was for that program which I was not interested in. So with that understanding I registered him without any more info given to the school about our current living situation... I feel SO much better now that he will be getting school!! He is SOOOO excited!! Now to hold him off until August... oh boy.... Wish me luck! 

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